South Texas Shooters (Photography That Is!)

Watching a tv program I heard one of the characters say she was tired of all that they are going through with the pandemic and it sunk in deep down inside of me, I’m Tired of Being Tired, tired of people being selfish, tired of being misled by people, tired of being forgotten by people, tired of caring for uncaring people, tired of giving 100% for people that only give 100% when they are sucking it out of the people who give 100+% each and every day. Tired of listening to people boost about what they can do, yet don’t do what they say. Tired of giving a damm for people who just don’t give a damm. And just tired of a hundred unnamed tired’s , are you tired of my being tired, bet you are because I sure as hell am tired of being tired!!

I am Not Tired of the Blessings Given to me in the each day in so many forms, the gift of each new day, the gift of so many people that are My True Treasures of Life, I sometimes call them The Few, The Proud, The Blessings of Life!!! They are not my Marines they are why I get over being tired on a daily basis and keep me Doing The Right Thing even when most around me are not. But I think of those Life’s Treasures and I Do The Right Thing!! So I take this moment to “Thank YOU for being a LifeLine for me, until today I never truly understood how much Life’s Treasures can be Lifesavers! I also am blessed and thankful for the two hoodlums that make “Three Ole Guy’s” a real thing! I am thankful for the ability to click the shutter of a camera and catch the moment like some catch a rise ball or a fastball or a curveball or a line drive! Or a moment in time. I am more thankful than tired, but I am Tired of Being Tired or maybe I should say this I am Tired of Trying People!! I am Tired of Being Tired but I am Not Tried of Doing The Right Thing! For you The Treasures of Life, for you the people that are also doing the right thing I’ll brush away the tiredness and push ahead and forward!!

trust

 (trŭst)n.1. a. Firm belief in the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing; confidence or reliance: trying to gain our clients’ trust; taking it on trust that our friend is telling the truth.b. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one: violated a public trust.c. One in which confidence is placed.

My first entry in 2021 is about trust, I think of many moments that I put trust in someone and there have been many moments that someone has placed their trust in me. When someone places their trust in me I feel a sense of honor and humility and most importantly I do my best to not disappoint them, I hope that I am successful, but I am grown enough that I have screwed this trust up and for the most part when the loss of trust happens a piece of me dies because I have screwed up in a major way. But this is not why or what this entry is about.

As I said, it is an amazing honor when someone places their trust in me, whether it is in telling me something or showing me something or trusting me with a assignment, job or something related. As most of you know I have a obsession/love of photography, surprise, surprise.

In recent years I have been honored by some placing their trust in my ability to capture their special moments, no matter the type of function, event or reason I am honored that they ask me as there are so many “Photographers” out there these days, some are exceptional, some are well some are just are! Because of my adult job I am often unable to get the images they need because I can never predict the call of duty and if you know me, you know that I also take my duties and responsibilities seriously . Also I do not want to to have to break their trust by letting them down on the event day, which has happened more than once. As I grow older and supposedly wiser it tears at my insides a lot more than ever before in my life when I have to say “Sorry I can’t be there because”!

But when I can take the photos I’ll be there, I’ll be prepared (possibly over prepared), I’ll work hard to make your moment a lifetime memory. Your trust in my getting the moment means so much that on more than one occasion the expense is not the driving force behind the lens, it is the smile, the laugh, even the “O Shit” moment when we both ask what the hell was I thinking! The most import aspect is “The Trust” that was given with these special moments!!

After all these words, it comes down to these words, “Thank You” to each and every body that has given and placed “Trust” in me, for that trust fuels this Ole Heart and Soul and will remain the best moments for me today, tomorrow and yesterday!!

It has been a long time since II’ve added to the blog. Mostly due to laziness and more to do with negativity . During this year of 2020 so much negativity is about and at times seems to be the “New Normal”, a term I am tired of hearing. I wish that I was not so sensitive to all this, but being honest I am and tired of too many people being negative and their negativity is now infecting me and I am angered, pissed, upset that I feel this way! I am loosing interest in being out and about recently, not wanting to venture far from the house and only leave when it is necessary, work, shopping or on infrequent occasion a get together to celebrate something special event or moment. When I do go out I grow tired of the looks and attitude displayed by some. On the other hand I am refreshed by the smiles behind the mask by some, these moments renew my soul and make me keep moving forward, for those people and moments I am forever blessed and thankful!!

Well on to the point of this post. The title is kind of different but there is a meaning to it or at least to me. “Six Five” recently I had a birthday my 65th, to me I never thought I would get here, from the stupid things I did in my youth, the choice of enlisting in the US Army and being deployed to lands far from home and being put in situations not of my choosing but willingly went because I was needed. Many times I thought it was going to be the last day of my Life, but I made it to another day by the Grace of God and His protection, I to this day not sure why I was given a new day, but there is a meaning, not sure what and why but it is a fact that I was given another gift of Life. I question no more why, but am thankful for each new day!!

As I said, recently my 65th year of LIFE has begun, too me this is a big milestone one that I never thought I’d get to. In a way I looked forward to the birthday! I was hoping for a simple and small get together with folks that have come to mean a lot to me!!!! They are my family away from my family, but it did not happen! Although I was blessed with many greetings and wishes on that day and I am forever thankful for each and everyone who took the time to care and send a greeting!!

Secretly I was hoping for a surprise visit or maybe an invite to break bread, but this did not happen and I attribute that to the current state of affairs in the country at the moment (COVID-19), but I did get one unexpected and heartwarming FaceTime from far away and am forever thankful for the FT, it made me smile and tear up some, imagine an Ole Guy shedding a tear, not suppose to happen but it did and it may happen again under the right moment and right people!!! Being who I am the disappointment was eased by the caring and kindness received that day. Although my heart hoped and wished for a lavish event (NOT) a small gathering of folks that I cherish would have been nice, but it is over now for I am a few days into being and Ole Guy so I can’t dwell on it for long, because I don’t know if tomorrow is promised to me, I do hope it is not, not so much for me but for the few that I provide a smile too.

Thank you to those who “Dared To Care” your small act of thoughtfulness and kindness kindness mean a world to me!! May the years to come bring you many moments filled with compassion, kindness and love!!!

These past weeks have been a challenging and ever changing , the weeks to come will bring more challenges and changes which will mean more courage to overcome the fear that tries to keep us from duty and service.

All across our world there are people that display courage by overcoming fear by doing duty and service to others. There are the health care workers first responders , military members and service folks. I understand that most do what they do because it is what they trained for, some do it out of service to others and some do it to keep employed. Each day they set out to do what needs to be done, to provide service to others and during these times that takes courage to overcome the fear that wants you to not do your duty. We provide service to others.

I work in an industry that has been classified as “Essential”, I work in the transit/transportation industry. We get people where they need to go, those health care workers, first responders, service folks and folks that have been deemed as essentials. The people I work with come in each day to get the hours needed for the pay period, we have some that do what they do because it is the right thing to do! We have our fears and we use our courage each day to do our duty and provide service. We have folks that ride with us that don’t need be riding, because its free, because they have nothing to do, because they have no place to go, so they come and ride with us, not just in my city but all across the USA and more than likely all across the world! These are the people that brings fear to me, but I do my duty with the courage of David facing Goliath because service to the good folks is priority. I fear interacting with them because I am told that I am in that group of folks more prone to Covid19 , but my sense of duty and service brings about the courage to do the right thing.

I also believe that a boss, supervisor, leader should lead by example! The folks I work with and supervise deserve it! The people that ride with us deserve it, all the folks that provide our service deserve it.

Each day I open my eyes I say Thank You God, each day I put on the uniform I am thankful that I get an opportunity to do something for another, I will never go down in the history books, but I will try and make an impact while I’m there for the folks that stand to my left and right!!! I will display courage to overcome the fear and do my duty to provide service to others!!! Not noble, maybe a little crazy, a little foolish and a bit “Old School!”

“Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

I believe the above quote describes all of us transit workers doing what we do day in and day out!! We are “Hero’s moving Hero’s”

Let us all Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Stay Strong!!!

For my entire adult LIFE I have been involved in service to others, even as a kid I was providing service, shinning shoes, delivering groceries and a truck load of other jobs. My adult LIFE has seen me doing military service in the Army and after the Army I went on to be a public servant in the Transportation field, talking about moving people within a large metropolitan community.

During my military service I choose the medical field (Combat Medic) and never had a regret even when I was scrubbing pots, pans, two and half ton trucks and half a million other details that are a part of military service. But when the time came to be a Medic I was all in from top of my head, to the bottom of my feet and the whole heart. Nothing was more important than to take care of the soldier to my left and right and to the people we came in contact with. There was many, many times when I was scared shitless, but I never wavered I just said “F” It and did IT!!! Most times after I did what needed to be done to preserve a life is when the “Scared Shitless” feeling struck, that’s when my hands would shake along with my body. But I did what needs to be done.

After military service I entered the civilian job world as a bus operator and now as a bus supervisor I find myself still providing service to others. The current job is not as serious as being a medic but still providing service above self. I enjoy doing for others, sometimes the feeling is awesome, sometimes I question why the hell am I doing this. But then I see that smile or hear those words “Thanks” that makes it all worth the hassle! Service Above Self, three words that mean LIFE to me, my life, your life their life, everybody’s LIFE!

These days I feel like I’m going into a Hot LZ or Combat Zone!!! The biggest difference is the enemy has no face or many faces, no uniforms, no national origin, no language, no ideology nothing you can put a finger on or identify. It’s a disease that is the enemy, it attacks anyone, anywhere at anytime. The thing that brings out the fear is all the news, main stream or social media, most it I believe comes from folks that like to stir the pot just to see who they can get to cringe, cower and run away. I may run away at somethings or some people, but I never run from service to others!!!

Although these past few weeks have made me uneasy and what unknowns are laying in wait in the coming weeks I am here to Do The Right Thing and provide Service Above Self. Don’t get me wrong I am looking out for me also but I refuse to allow paranoia and doubt to take over my LIFE! Transit workers in this area are being called essential workers and I believe that we are for this someone who needs to get to their essential job or get to the doctors office, grocery store and other places of business. I am there for the men and women that keep us on the move. No I don’t have all the answers, nor do I have a cure, but I am there for you who has to get to work, store, hospital or other places that are necessary, not the club, the bar or any other place that you don’t need to go to. I’m here for my guys, I’m here for my family, blood and those have become family and for those friends that Dare To Care!

I may not be scared shitless at this moment and I may be later but I’m still going to do what has to be done for those that I serve! “Service Above Self” has been what I’ve done for so long that I don’t know any other way!!! So just to let you know, I’m going to be safe I’m still going to do what needs to be done for you!!!!!

The past few days have been a serious express train ride of emotions, gratitude and sorrow.

Those that know me, know I am born, bred and raised New Yorker. Grew up in the upper east side of Manhattan (Spanish Harlem), lived in the projects (East River Houses), went to public schools (PS168, JHS99 & Board of Ed GED). Rode the subway Number 4 train to watch the Yankees play at Yankee Stadium, rode the 7 train to watch the Mets play at Shea Stadium, took the number 4 bus to watch the Rangers skate the ice at The Garden! Played softball in a city park at 96th and Second Ave. Ate pizza at the local pizzeria on First Ave between 103rd and 104th. A million and one places to hang out, went to every borough by means of subway, bus and ferry. The Naked City, The Big Apple, The City That Never Sleeps! Many names but it’s my hometown.

I left the city when it was going through bad times of the 70’s and 80’s, I entered military service and saw many parts of the world, big cities that reminded me of NYC, but never could take the place of NYC. I always look forward to coming home back to 410 East Apt 5C and hanging with Granny.

When I left military service in the mid 90’s I elected to move to Texas. NYC was rebuilding and it was becoming bigger than ever.

Then on September 11th 2001 The City Changed, The Country Changed, The World Changed and I changed and it is still changing because of 4 aircraft United 175, United 93, American Flight 11 and American Flight 77.

On that day I was woke up by a phone call from the east coast, all Jessica could say was turn on the TV, turn on the TV and I did. I got to see the smoke billowing from the north tower and trying to figure out what happened, then I saw the aircraft impact the south tower, then voices came over the air and it quickly became apparent we’re being attacked. Tried to call back to NYC and all lines were busy and later cut due to heavy usage.

On that day I watched Firefighters, Police Officers, EMS Personal running into the burning buildings while others ran out and I found my heart wanted to be there running in and lending a hand, giving a damm, caring for another. I almost drove up from Texas, but someone here advised me that it would be impossible to get into the City, so I stayed and went to work driving a bus and wishing it and I was back in the City ferrying rescuers into Ground Zero, making a difference but it did not come true I stayed and did what I could from Texas.

Over the years as 9/11 approach’s I get sentimental for NYC and all that makes it NYC. This year has been hard on my heart, I want to be back on 9/11 and visit and thank my hometown hero’s, but distance won’t allow. So this morning I got a box of donuts and went by and dropped them off at the Firehouse on Russell and said thanks!

Since the attack took place our world has changed, in some ways the change has been for the better, yet in some alarming ways it has been for the worse. I am not smart enough to fix that, but I care enough to hopefully not be part of the problem.

As this September 11th draws to a close I am thankful for those Hometown Heroes some 18 years ago who ran towards the fires of hell for others not self. I remind myself that I am a runner also, run into the fire not for self but for others. I cry many tears for all those that give the ultimate sacrifice for others and I don’t know if those tears shall ever stop. For in our world today there is a need for those that run into the fire while others run away from the fire more than ever!

This man from Manhattan will let you know that the hoodlum from The Houses will knock you on your butt to get that seat on the subway, but would freely give up my Life to save your Life!!!

Never Forget!!!

Reflecting on the progress of my life, I find that most of my adult life has been devoted to sacrifice, selfless service and in recent years a ton of sentimentalism.

Upon arrival into adulthood my dream was to go into the medical field, lacking funds and grades an entry into military service was next, there a partial realization of my dream was made as I entered into the medical field as a combat medic. As each enlistment passed the process of sacrifice and selfless service became the road of life, it became more important to insure that the soldiers entrusted to my care where given the best care! They were checked and rechecked, they were provided with the needs to continue life, often times as I sacrificed for them I don’t recall gripping  about it! When I left military service and entered the real world the dye had been cast from the years of military service, so sacrifice and selfless service where and are the way my life goes. In recent years our world is changing in some alarming ways in my eyes and heart. I’m not sure why it seems that displaying a caring lifestyle seems to evoke others to be afraid, step back, step away or taking advantage of the sincere act of caring and kindness! But it has made me ponder why I should continue to be caring. Then I remember the warm fuzzy feeling that occurs in my heart and soul, so I just keep going and going. The Energizer Bunny of Caring and Selfless Service.

To those that I make uncomfortable and or scared, fear not the motivation of my caring, accept it and try and believe that there are plain ole good hearted people who travel these roads. If you can’t stop being uncomfortable or scared, sorry for you I may just have to leave you to waste away far from me, for I am getting tired of thinking there’s something wrong with me and realize there’s something wrong with you.

“Sentimentalism”

In the past few years I find that I have become sentimental of times past, times present. I remember the smile of a soldier who I bandaged a wound or splinted a fracture and the look that soldier gave me and the heart becomes warm and a tears forms in these ole eyes. I recall the smile and embrace from an athlete as I handed over a framed and matted print of them captured on a field and it makes the heart smile and a tear form in the corner of my eye. I recall a smile and thank you from many of the folks that were thankful for spending a few minutes to help them out to get where they needed  to go and my heart goes warm and a tear from in the corner of these ole eyes.

I look forward to the days I share an image captured through my ole eyes and cameras and lens that make someone smile, and then a warmth comes over my heart and a tear forms in the corner of these ole eyes.

For those that get blessed and lucky enough to be a part of my life, my caring , my kindness thank you for allowing me to be a part of yours. I hope that the smile always warms your heart, I don’t want a tear to form in the corner of your eye, just a smile and warmth to enter your heart!!!

This is not a political post, I repeat not a political post. It is a post about caring, kindness and Doing The Right Thing!

A week ago I read a Tweet from Emily Pitek where she put those words into play, the words “Make America Kind Again” echoed in my mind and heart. The past few years I have wondered where we are headed. These days it’s easy and easier to find the bad, the evil, the unkind and everything in between!

Rarely are we exposed to the good, kind everyday acts of kindness! I don’t plan to change our world, but I will do my best to change it around me. I practice The Random Act of Kindness each day, somewhere in my day I do an act of kindness without expectation of a reward other than a smile, a thank you, maybe a handshake and if I’m really blessed a hug!

All I ask that if you read my blog, go out and do “A Random Act of Kindness” for someone, if someone does A Random Act of Kindness for you “Pay it Forward”, we can change life around us we can have a better chance of making a better life for all!

Just imagine what you can do with an act of kindness and doing the right thing!

We have the power to make someone’s day and bring out the smile!!!!!

Pete and Red

Saturday at an HEB is not a place where good things happen, most folks are trying to get that shopping done and get out before they get run over by a cart or motorized buggy. Ever watch folks in a supermarket more than likely 90% of folks are not smiling it reminds me of 5pm on the Lexington Avenue Subway.

But today while at HEB I was being helpful to a lady getting school supplies for her kids and a conversation started up, another lady rolled in in a motorized scooter and all three come to realize we share a common bond. We all were members of the Army.

The lady I was talking with at first shared a common road with me as we were both medics and the lady in the scooter was one of the last members of The Women’s Army Corps (WAC) when it was deactivated in the early 70’s. As we 3 talked we reminisced about our service and experiences in the Army and it was like we had all served together and were at a reunion, and I guess we were!!!!

The most enjoyable 15 minutes I’ve ever spent in a supermarket and I thank those two ladies for their service, each one of us from different era’s but serving the same Army!! It was like we just picked up the conversation where we left off so many years ago!!

Gender does not matter, it is the heart of the warrior that counts!!! Once a Soldier, Always a Soldier!! Soldier for Life.

Thank you to my two sisters. Best dang time I’ve ever spent in HEB.