South Texas Shooters (Photography That Is!)

I am going to attempt to explain the title of this entry best as I can. So here goes! “Riding to the end of the line” a term that means’s something to folks that work in the business that I do for a living. I work in a city transit (bus) company, I have wanted to do this since I was a youngster, riding the bus or subway was a treat for me, I would ride in the front of the bus or car and pretend it was me doing all the work, it was fun and it was an escape from the projects were I lived, it made the world larger and full of color and excitement. After leaving the army I came to this place to pursue a life and happiness and for some time it was working that way, I was being happy and doing what I thought was right and fun!

But in recent times I have become a very quiet and solemn man who thinks of nothing good anymore, just the negatives in life seem to creep their way into my thoughts and worse than that into my heart. I thought by this time I would be with a family, you know two kids, a wife, dog and cat, a ton of bills but life would be good I could come home to a home with people and animals. I have gotten some of it, I have animals, a ton of bills but find very little happiness. If someone asks me how I’m doing I respond with “got no complaints, I’m above the ground”! I am thankful for most of the time that I am here and above the ground, but I am very tired of being angry, sad, disappointed and ashamed of how my life has turned out. I know that I have more than I should have and should be overjoyed at this. But today I am feeling sad for myself and can not forgive myself for it!

I want to find what is missing in life, whether it si the company of another or to just see all be content, and pleased with what they have. This I understand is a dream that shall never come true, wish it would, sometimes I pray it will happen, but know it is still a dream. I am trying so hard to make all around me happy and find that this is not good for me, sometimes I hope for a simple thank you and a hug, but it does not come.

I am on my own bus right now, I sit behind the wheel and check the destination sign every few moments to see where it is I am going and when I will arrive at the end of the line, so far nothing shows up in the destination sign and I am worried that I will run out of fuel before I get there and piss everyone off because I did not make it to the end of the line, on time or late, I just don’t get there, sitting on the side of the road, out of fuel and no trouble truck in sight! I am scared and don’t like the feeling, don’t like complaining about it, just plain old scared, not the best feeling in the world, but it is a feeling.

As was the purpose was to share life and photography with you (thank you for coming by), this is part of my life and hope you can forgive me for being sad and tired! I am blessed for I have what I have and should not sweat the rest but I do, my fault, my bad!

I have shared a darker side of life today and hope that this not become a trend that continues! SO now I share the photography which I do still enjoy, wish I could have someone share the passion with me at my side or me by her side or just plain old side by side, no one in front, no one behind just side by side. Hope you again enjoy the photography, no special theme, nothing special, just some photos to look at. Take care and again thank you for stopping by as you do. Take care and may there be a million smiles and equal number of hugs out there for you!
Peter

My favorite photo of me! (taken by someone else)

The cat

What to do?

How my mind and heart feel, all over the place and going nowhere! Flying away!